Weekly What – Week 17

A beast o’ green with yellow crown
O’ertakes the landscape all around.
Mowing men and women down
With claws set deeply underground.
No fearless Knight doth dare confound
The countless creatures’ battleground.

Can ya hear that mournful sound
O’ cries o’ fear from dusk to dawn?
Lovers o’ the fallen ones’
Vengeful tears cry out for war!

Picks and pikes, shovels and swords,
Off to snuff the most awful o’ hoards.
Ripping and tearing the mighty cords
O’ the beasts’ behemoth legs and claws,
Until, at last, the growls and roars
Are ne’er but heard in tales of lore.

Sea Monsters

A piece of driftwood.

A piece of driftwood.

I walked the crystal shores in search of nothing,
And came upon a ruin, quite a monstrosity.

There it was on the sands, still and so quiet;
sleeping, waiting, like some sort of mousetrap.

Shaking, I wondered at its oddly shaped form;
Legs (or arms?) sprawled on the shores.

I dared not move, it looked so peaceful;
I knew in my heart it longed for a mouth full.

The seconds dragged on and turned into minutes;
The beast only moved with the waves and current.

A stirring, a rustling, a sudden jerking motion;
My heart was in my throat, my mind in convulsions.

The beast was alive! I knew I must escape.
My exit was blocked by many long snakes!

Oh what a fool I was for not looking up!
Pay attention to your surroundings, lighten up!

I, the Optimist, in my unusual and insane way,
Laughed at myself as though I weren’t afraid.

The beast heard the laugh, and sought to find me;
But I, like the wind, avoided my enemy.

Heed my warning whenever you are walking:
Avoid the monsters of maleficent murmuring.

The Last Place You Would Look

Taxes are coming up. We all dread them. This year I was going to file my own taxes with my Dad’s help. So I get all my tax info together and give it to him. He was not quite ready, so he set it in a pile on the kitchen counter.

A couple of days went by, and there was some apparent misinformation. He thought I was going to take care of the pile, and I thought he was going to take care of the pile. Neither of us did anything with it, and it soon vanished!

Once I knew it was missing, I panicked. I searched my room three times, completely disassembling it. We checked every pile in the house, from school books to magazines to junk drawers. We got really desperate and went through the entire week’s garbage (gross). We found clues that led us to believe they were in the house somewhere. My greatest fear was that my tax information had been used as fire-starter.

We had just about given up the hunt (my family had been scouring the couch cushions and bedrooms), when my Mom finally suggested I look in one last place: her cook book. She mentioned that she occasionally closed it up without looking to see if something had become part of the overflowing binder full of recipes.

My dad started going through the cook book while I looked in the last, remote areas of the house where no one ever ventures. Just as I had given up, Dad exclaimed that he had found it!

Just as my mother had said, it was tucked inside her cook book on the very LAST page.

So remember, if you ever lose important paperwork or homework, check the cook book.

Old Log From an Old Job

So the following entries were made while I was house-sitting for a family I know. I got bored, so I decided to start making a “log book” so that they would know what happened while they were away. I’ll try to explain each entry so you’re not completely lost.

11-10-11 Exploration of Territory
16:30 – Came upon what seems to be headquarters of some type. We also found various hungry life forms in captivity. Scouts found traces of foul play. Will report in later, out.

The “headquarters” was the house I was house-sitting. The hungry life forms in captivity were chickens in their coop. The “foul play” was a little pun about the birds, though there was feathers, and they did tell me that a fox had gotten one.

17:45 – Life form nourishment was successful; signs of vagrant creatures roaming freely according to scouts, but too dark to tell. Grunts took to playing war games, while the veterans studied various other arts. Out.

The nourishment was the chicken feed. The vagrant creatures were chickens that were roaming free, but it was pitch black and impossible to find them. The grunts were my younger bothers who came over to play Call of Duty on our friend’s Playstation. I don’t remember who the veterans were, and what the “other arts” were.

23:53 – Troops hunkered down for the night in what appear to be sleeping quarters on the lower level. I slept in a small chamber on the upper level with a view of some of the outer areas. Must find vagrant life forms tomorrow. Out.

This one is pretty easy, everyone just went to bed.

11-11-11 Initial Conflict
09:35 – Troops were up and restless this morning. Set to feeding the creatures first thing. Located three vagrants mentioned by scouts. Corralled one, but the others had to be taken by force; placed all three in confinement with the others. The larder is looking low, returning to base for supplies; will be back later. Out.

Fed the chickens and found the ones that were lost. The larder was just food supplies. Base was my home.

20:00 – Returned with supplies, fed the creatures, and locked the place down. Preliminary survey of the inside areas did not take into account certain areas, particularly those with solid doors. Upon further investigation, some monstrosities had started to form! Plans are being laid out now for execution, will report in a few hours if possible, out.

The certain areas are rooms. Their house was not quite finished, so some of the rooms did not have doors yet. The monstrosities were piles of dirty clothes that were in some of the rooms. I was going to clean everything.

22:07 – Monstrosity has been destroyed, and the area is going through a sterilization process now. There seems to be a greater monstrosity in another sector, but it has been sealed off and should not cause any problems. Wend through and straightened supplies; played war games with troops for a bit and then went to bed. Out.

I cleaned up one entire room, and the sterilization process was sweeping and organization. The greater monstrosity was a bigger pile of clothes in another room, but I wasn’t going to worry about that one. It was behind a door. I organized their pantry and played a little bit of CoD with the boys.

11-12-11 Making Tracks
09:35 – Got up, fed the critters, and evaluated in-roads to this facility. After evaluation, we cleared a larger entrance and exit pathway before heading back to base for supplies. Out.

The in-roads were the pathways into the house; it was winter so I shoveled them.

22:00 – Returned to facility, took care of critters, and found what appeared to be predator tracks. Growing uneasy about the monstrosity on the lower level; devising traps to set around entrance to sector just in case. Only two more days until reinforcements arrive, hopefully we’ll be able to keep it that long. Gonna get some shut-eye, lot of patrols tomorrow. Out.

The predator tracks were moose tracks I believe. They might have been fox tracks, but I don’t remember. I wanted to leave some sort of barricade around the door, just for fun, so I was trying to get as much as I could done before they arrived. The “reinforcements” was the family that lived at the house. The “patrols” were work, school, and my home.

11-13-11 Defensive Maneuvers
08:03 – Gathered our wits early, nourished the creatures, left for training. Out.

Training was college, I think I had an early class that year.

17:43 – Returned to facility to finish preparations for reinforcements. The second monstrosity is still sealed in the sector, but for how long we are not sure. I have personally seen to the additional defenses set up around the sector. I hope reinforcements arrive before anything happens. Out.

I stayed at their house and made sure everything was nice and clean for them. I made a literal barricade with as many toy guns as I could find pointing at the door. I also left some sort of scribbled note and caution signs up on the door as well.

When the family got home, they were all really happy, except for the one whose door I barricaded. This was the start of my idea of transcribing my days using different terms. It actually can take a lot of work and imagination to rework your day into a world of fantasy, but it can also be very fun!